Thursday, June 14, 2012
Dont you love the tile!!!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Today was ok. I was actually thinking that my seizures were going away since I only had one when I was sleeping. But, I was in my cooking class, we were just watching a boring movie and I was writing for this test, and I remember waking up with my head on my desk. I look down at my paper and the letters are all scribbly. I rubbed my head and said, "oh well hopefully no one saw that." My friend leaned over and said are you ok, I said ya I think I should go to the clinic. We were walking out the door and into the hall way, and Splat! It goes blank. I look up and see the nurse, my friend, and two other girls. The two girls were holding my head, my friend was holding my hand, and the nurse was freaking out. I got up and I was fine. Of coarse the nurse was freaking out and was like your not going back to class, I'm like I am fine gosh let me go. She's like we need to call your mom blah blah blah... They talked to my mom and my mom's like gosh send her to class she's fine. I'm like dude freak out. Uh it's so annoying. Like that nurse needs to understand that she need to calm down. The more flustered she is the less calm I'll be. Oh dear I guess I better pray for her. I've been struggling with Love your neighbor as yourself. I'm like God that is so hard. I got mad at some people in my kitchen in my cooking class and I started washing the dishes just like: God they are so annoying right now, please just not let me to do anything to them. Control my tongue. Well been thinking alot about the whole career thing. Yes, I have a whole year to think about it since I am doing treatment and everything. (treatment is 15 months and I probally wouldn't start till September.) So I have some time. I'm a person that changes my mind often. First I wanted to be a sign language teacher, physical therapist, nurse, paramedic. God has called me to the mission about ahh a year and a half ago. So you gotta do what God says. Which I love anyway. And I think I want to go into foriegn language. I don't know I guess I'll pray about it. Oh dear my mom keeps calling me to come take my pills. I have taken these 2 in like 3 days. Which isn't bad or anything there just supplement. One is orange and smells horrible and the other is green. And seriously it is spinach in a pill. Uh both YUCKY!!!! I get to smash it up and stick it through my g tube. It feels like a science project when I do that. LOL. Not much else. Had 4 seizures since I got home. The last one was bad cause when I woke up I had the worst pain in my fore arms and my feet were scruncthed and cramped. Stretching and ice helped with it though. Ok I'm hot. This computer has been sitting on my lap all night. Ha I have to go do math devoir anyway.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Hope You all have a fantasting day. Not sure when I'll be able to write. untill next time...
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Today has been bad and boring. It's been so frustrating and complicated. OK let’s start with the beginning. I woke up this morning around , which is early for me, because I usually don't wake up until or . I remember waking up several times in the night, I think I was seizing. Then I got ready for school. I got to school and I went up to my sewing class. The teacher asked me how I was doing and I said ehh... not feeling that great. (I told all my teachers about my seizures so they had some what of a clue.) Anyway I was working on a pillow case. The teacher said she had to go talk to another teacher, so I decided to go hang in the clinic. The clinic ladies were trying to go over my medical history. We ended up talking a lot about Lyme and stuff. After about 15 minutes they kicked me out, (even though I didn't have a first period.) I then decided to go to my math teacher’s class to talk to him about getting extra credit. I went up and got to his class and I was having an aura, but I said, it'll pass. My heart was racing and I was having a hard time focusing. During this time he was talking to me about the extra credit that had to do with taxes, but I don't remember. (The stuff I'm telling you is what I remember.) Then I was starring at him and he's like do you need to sit down and I'm like no. And then he kept talking and I was zoned out, and then next thing I know is, I'm saying "I'm going to pass out" and then it was just blank. (During these episodes, it's like I have an out-of-body experience or if I am dreaming.) Anyway, I remember when I woke up that there were a much of paramedics around. I was just think "great." They said they were going to transport me and I started getting mad, they talked to my mom and said not to transport me. I was so scared they were going to take me to the hospital. The next thing I remember was they were putting me in my mom's car. We drove home and I laid on the couch and took a long nap. My mom later told me what the paramedics told her. So apparently I passed out in my math teacher’s classroom and he knew about my seizures, but he didn't know they were like this. So then they called 911 and the paramedics came and did their thing. They said I was in and out. They said they lasted like 25 minutes. My mom said at one point there was a point were it was super violent. They took me on the stretcher and brought me to my mom's car and they followed us home to make sure I could get in the house OK. I was fine the rest of the day, just really bored. I have "tics" which is just like my body will jump or my head will go to the side. Well anyway, for the next three weeks my mom said she is going to stay at the house till I come home from school, so that if I have one at school she will be closer and easier to come and get me. I also found out today that I only need one more credit to graduate. So if my seizures get worse then I only have to take one class.
Well I decide to go to school tomorrow. Cross my fingers nothing happen. I just get a lot of "tics" tonight. Hopefully just that and no seizures. I like school and want to go and be with my friends. Pray for me.
Sorry there are two updates on this one, but I had a hard time with my internet last night. Today was not so great either. I went to school, but as I was in my math class, at the end of the day, I got an aura (extreme fatigue.) I came home and slept. I went to sleep at and woke up, thinking I had a 2 hour nap, but looked at my clock and it said . I’m like oh my. I haven’t been sleeping well. I think I have seizures during my sleep because I wake up often during my sleep confused. Today I also think I fell. I woke up with my head under the piano in a pool of vomit. I don’t even remember. I told my mom. I sometimes wonder about my safety, how I could’ve choked. I know my mom is super protective about it, and is trying to give me some freedom about it. It is not as much as I like but what can I do. Tell her not to worry? That’s what parents do. I am still having tics. I am not sure what’s causing them, probably my screwed up brain.
Let’s look back:
When I was a baby maybe 1 or 2 years old I had a high fever. Like 104. Then when I was 9 or 10 years old I started having absence seizures. They tried a bunch of different medication but few worked or made me like a zombie. They tried a drug called Lamictal. It helped and I was on it for a year. I slowly got off of it and the seizures stopped. I was 14 years old when I was bite by a spider? (which we later discovered it was a tick.) When I was 15 years old I started having nerve pain (still do) and was diagnosed with RSD (a nerve condition.) When I was 17 years old I was diagnosed with Gastroparesis which is a condition that has to do with the nerves in your stomach to contract making food pass through your system. The end of 2011, I started having non-epileptic seizures. Tests were done but now one could find out what it was. Doctors told me I was crazy and said I was making it up. I then went to see a Lyme doctor. She did 3 Lyme testing and I had 3 positive tests. I was diagnosed with Lyme in 2011. I developed not being able to swallow in the next few weeks. I have talked to my doctor 4 weeks ago. She put me on Lamictal, again, which has helped my swallowing. She knows that my seizures are due to Lyme, because many of her other patients have the same symptoms. She said that if the mediation doesn’t start working then she will put me on something else. I am then going to start the Lyme treatment once I get the inflammation all out of my body. She said it could be 2-3 months. She out me on another multivitamin, (which smells terrible.) and is giving me Melatonin for me to sleep.
Hope that wasn’t a lot to process. Hope that’s the key word tonight. I have been telling a lot of people to pray for me, saying that I don’t think this will ever end. I have been reading my Bible and been praying and asking God why am I going through all this, since I’ve been going through a lot of other things as well. I can’t understand it. He has showed me this week that He will keep me safe, and never forsake me even through this trial. He has given me so much peace about the whole ordeal. I am also appreciate of all the people who have been praying, people who have helped me through my seizures, (including those who have caught me!) Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
Hope is like a little light, even the tiniest bit guides us through the darkness.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Why am I telling you this? I was told I had 8 seizures while I was at church this morning. I guess they were really bad. I fell and loss consciousness. I was jerking and my eyes were rolling. I guess that would be very scary for people.
I want to make something very clear. I DO NOT need you to call 911, or transport me to the hospital. If you do I will not go. Today I know a bunch of people that surrounded me, wanted to call 911, I came out of it and said NO!
My mom came an picked me up and I just cried in the car. It's so frustrating. I am up to 75mg on Lamictal. I continue that this week and by next week I'll get to the full dose of 100mg. I'm praying it starts to decrease. Also me and my mom talked about getting an alert bracelet. The paramedic that went to the church saw my little charm bracelet that said seizures on it. But it is so tiny it's hard to notice.
I might go out tonight, but I need to take a nap, sometimes I get really tired after my episodes, so it be a good idea.
Friday, April 6, 2012
This week has been full of seizures and uncertainty when and where I'll be. That frightens me. I had 4 seizures this evening between 9 and 10pm. I also had one early this morning. I woke up laying on the kitchen floor right near the re fridge. I'm like wow OK? I don't even remember what I was doing. Maybe getting a drink? I don't know. My mom thought it was a good idea if I could track them. So I got an app for that. It says how long they last and stuff. Let's see I had one at 9:02pm and it lasted 52 seconds. Then next one was at 9:09pm and it lasted 36 seconds. The next was at 9:14pm and it lasted 5 minutes and 7 seconds. And the last one was at 9:26pm and it lasted 3 minutes and 5 seconds. I get an aura each time so I know when it's about to happen. It happened during class in the food science class while we were in our groups and I'm like guys I'm going to have a seizure. They were like do you need to go to the clinic or anything. I'm like no just give me a minute, and then I came out of it and went back to cooking. Sometimes it takes me a while to come back to the world after I wake up and other times I'm like crap I had a seizure. And then I just get paranoid about if I looked stupid or if people are talking about me.
Feeds arn't going so well. I have done maybe 3 this week. Ya, I am doing one now though, especially since I can't keep anything down.
I had a fun time with my friends last night. It was suppose to be 7 of us but only 3 could come. We had fun though. Oh and it was at my house. Watch this video:
Tomorrow I am going dress shopping for prom. And then sunrise service at my moms church and then going to my church for 9am service. I am so bummed that we don't have Sunday school or Youth Group. Like come on what am I gonna do on Sunday night. We need to have a movie night or something fun?!
Oh one thing I forgot to say. Well on Thursday I had to go to the oral surgeon because I have to get my wisdom teeth removed. Well he does all his extractions in the office. I went to him before braces when I got 8 teeth pulled and one exposure done and everything was good. Except during the exposure they didn't put me to sleep and I could smell my own flesh burning. Anyway, so they were going over the sleepy meds. He said he uses fentyl and versed. I'm like no no no allergic and can't do that. (He is an anesthesiologist too BTW) He said or we can do profafol. I'm like no I can't do that either. He's like we can do nitric oxide, but he said it still would be painful. He said since I have a bad reaction to both those meds then I have to go to a surgery center or the hospital because they would have to intabate me to make sure I don't stop breathing like I did last time. I talked about this with my Lyme doctor and she wants me to have it done because she said she wants me to have all the inflammation out of my body before I do treatment. So we decided I would come back in a month to see if the seizure med I am taking now will help the seizures and then I'll go back and try and get it all scheduled or talk about our options again.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
I had a little bit of trouble today. I passed out during math class. But it wasn't too obvious, my head was on my desk when I woke up, I hope the teacher didn't think I was sleeping. That's rude. LOL. I ended up passing out again after my shower tonight. I woke up laying half on half off my bed. Idk it's so weird it's like I get a wave of fatigue and then I can just feel it and then I'm out.
People at church tonight said I looked good. You know sometimes I feel really good when I'm around those people. You think I would be mad or confused about all that is happening but the Lord has given me so much peace in the last few weeks.
I am excited for this weekend. Tomorrow us gals are going to see my friends lacross game and then all go to Bible study and then hang out and have a sleepover at one of the girls' house. There is 7 of us I think. And I might go prom dress shopping Friday with the twins. (Yes, I have decided to go to prom, I wish a certain guy would ask me, but if not then I'll go with a group of guys and girls.) And my Best Friend is coming down this weekend so we might go dress shopping too. And Sunday is Easter. I am going to sunrise service at my old church and then 9am service at my new church. Should be fun.
Doing my feed tonight. Really don't want to. Rrrgh! I hate it and it hates my gut. Blah. I also have to start making a shawl tonight for sewing. Well it's not sewing, I'm kniting it. Ugh. well better go get started before it gets too late. Night.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Wednesday March 28, 2012:
I stopped my feeds about 6:00am and got dressed and we headed to Orlando. We got to the office and waited there for about 20 minutes and then I saw Dr. Sanjay. He was so nice an completly understanded. He said he would call his collegue to see if they could do the prodecure under IR today. (wednesday). We were so thankful. He then sent us to Florida Hospital in Orlando. We got there and waited in the waitng room for maybe another 20min and then they called my name. We went back the room and I got changed into a gown and they started an IV, which took them 5 tries. It was then about noon. The nurse said that they couldn't do the procedure till 2 because of when I got off my feeds at 6am. That stunk, then we waited for 2 hours and the radiologist came over an told me they were going to give my versed and fentl and do the procedure while I was awake. I had no problem with that. It was better that way cause I react to anestia. So they take me back to the IR and they give me the 2 medications and from what I am told, I had multiple medicated induced seizures. I can remeber the young kid raidologist saying "this is the first seizure I've seen" (when I woke up.) They sent me then to the ER. I blacked out a bunch of times in the ER. The ER dr was so confused on why they sent me down there. They then said they would put in a consult and the raidologist would have to deal with me tomorrow. So they took me up to a room. I can't really tell you much else that day becuse I don't remeber. But I do know that I had a very nasty nurse that night.
Thursday March 29, 2012:
They came and got me around 9am and said they were going to use the same medications to do the procedure. I was like no that's not happeneing. The nurse then said that anestia was going to come down and talk to me about using other form of general anestia. I don't remeber alot. Sorry, but my mom told me that they got the GJ button in and then in recovery I had very scary seizures. She said I was foaming at the mouth and vomiting and shaking and they were alot worse then the day before. We went back up to my room after the procedure was done. They said they were going to keep me over night and I said no and refused, espescially when I found out I had the same nasty nurse again. So we left the hospital around 10pm. I got emotional on the ride home. Just really scared for the Lyme treatment.
Yes I am very scared. Terrified! It's so scary on what you don't know. Does that make sense? Idk. Well today was a resting day. Running feeds into my j tube at 75ml and hour! Had some seizures today but they were short and small.
thanks for all the prayers,
Sunday, March 25, 2012
As you may know I have decided to do the Lyme treatment. I am so scared. I have never been so scared in my life. And when I talk about it I cry cause I'm so scared. I just hope you pray for me. Right now I am just doing the part were I prepare my system with supplements and other medications. But in a few months I will start the treatments.
I will take a year and a half off EMT school till I am done with the treatment. Because I don't know how my body will act I am not sure how much schooling I will be able to handle. But I intend to be a part time student while in treatment. (If I can handle it.)
I still hope I can go to summer camp 2012. I am really excited about that. Well that's all for now. I am super exhausted so I am going to take a nap. TTYL.
PS. I am taking a lot of pills. LOL. 13 in the morning 17 at night. crazy eh! Pray for me.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
I left around 3:30pm on Friday afternoon. My group got left behind because the driver forgot about us, so we didn't get to the camp until 6:30ish. I ate my sack dinner when I got there and then we had some free time. And then we headed to the chapel. That night we started to discuss Jeremiah 29:11. Now let me just say that I had a lot of things on my mind the begining of this weekend. Somethings I wanted to get over but didn't know how and I would say I was spiritually confused. We had worship which was so great and so meaningful and it just spoke to my heart. After we had worship and the message we had discussion group to talk about the message and how we were going to apply it to our lives. Then we headed back to our cabins for devotions. Then we went to bed. And that night I was super tired and running a fever so I fell asleep quick.
We (me and the girls in my cabin) woke up around 6:50ish. When the lights came on I saw Pastor Ann shrug like she wasn't ready to get up yet. It made me laugh. We got up and did our devotions by the lake, then we headed to the dinning hall for breakfast. Breakfast there wasn't that great. I often did my can feedings. (not like anything is helping though, more on that later.) Anyway after breafast we head over to the chapel for morning message and worship. The message Saturday moring was about what structure of the house you need work on. Mine was I need work on my walls. I have the structure of God in my life but my walls are breaking down. The little things in life are falling thru. Then after message we got free time from . The girls in my cabin were going to put there bathing suits on and then go to the lake. I told then to wake me up when they leave, but I guess they forgot or something because I got a much needed 2 hour nap. I woke up around and head over to watch people paddle boat. I wasn't feeling great due to the infection, but as the day went on I started to feel better. After I talked to one of the concelors for a while I decided to play mini golf and then human Foosball was scheduled for 4 but it was no longer there. That was disappointing. But instead, we played a game of soccer. I love soccer and the game just showed how much I missed it. Our team won 5 to 1. I learned that I kick really well with my left foot. Surprising because I'm right handed. Anyway, well since it's soccer I get competitve and I kicked this little kid in the nuts and another kid in the foot. (totally on accident). I felt real bad too. We took shower and head to chapel. I walked in to the chapel and I had this tug on my heart to forgive this person in my life. I kept saying to myself "no I'm not going to do that, no, little voice go away." We started praise and worship and I felt the same thing over and over again. And once again I said, "NO God I don't want to do that!" Tiffany preached to us on our 'idols' and how we "worship" them more than we worship God. She made us write our idols on a piece of paper and then when we were ready we had to bring them to the cross. For me my idols are self image, and my IPod and bitterness. I went to the cross and pored out my heart to Christ. Telling him that I no longer want to be captive to these idols, and that I know these idols are keeping me away from my time with Him. I bowed at the cross for quite some time just praying and asking for forgiveness. After the sermon I went and called that someone and forgave him. After I surrendered I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. We then went back to our cabins to do devotions. I was in a super happy mood and me and my friend were laughing with each other. It was great!
Sunday morning (this morning) we woke up and head to devotions by the lake and then to breakfast. I am sooooo sore from the soccer game. I feel like an old women trying to move my legs and sit down and stuff. After breakfast we headed to chapel for our last session. We had praise and worship and a message and communion. We had discussion group and then we left. We arrived at the church around 1.
I can't even explain how much fun I had. I can't wait for Summer Camp!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper and plans not to harm you, plans for hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. you will seek me with all your heart."
Thursday, March 15, 2012
I went to the OB/GYN. That was an experience. Things went well though.
When I got home there was a message on my home phone. It was the urgent care doctor I saw Sunday night. She said that she wanted me to call her about some test reseluts. The only thing I could think at the time was that she read the x-ray wrong. So I call her and tell her my hip is no better even after the 800mg of advil. She says that she thinks she knows why. I have E Coli in my bladder. A UTI. She said it is rare to get just pain in the hip region. Thing is...Yes you are probablly going to say I am so stupid. Well I have decided not to take the antibiotics till after I get back from spring retreat. It's just the Cipro she prescribed doesn't go well with my stomach and I don't want to have extra problems while I am at camp.
Camp is tomorrow and I am really excited! I need to go pack now. TTYL.
Love Always, Kari