Monday, April 16, 2012

I Hate computers!!

Sorry it's been so long since I updated. My computer is not working and my mom's computer isn't working, so I'm frustrated. Well not much happeneing. Blah seizures and new medications as usual. Weird thing we kinda found a patturn of when the seizures happen. First of all I have most of them while I am sleeping. I wake up constantly during the night. (had 7 last night) For some reason during my sleep when I wake up I know I've had one. And the other thing is when I am tired I'll have one. So they mostly happen in the morning or in the evening and at night. However I did have one at school last week. Well 2 if you count that one before school. Anyway, They don't often happen at school, or they haven't yet. Oh dear God I hope they don't. I get really emabarressed when I have one. Or I feel bad. I hate when people stare at me. Or gossip about it. Oh and I hate special treatment. Not to like nag on my mom or anything, but I have been completely frustrated, if my seizures last longer than 25 minutes you can call my mom. But please don't call her everytime I have one. Gosh, my mom will be tired of picking up the phone. Anyway, I don't want my mom to feel hurt by this post, (cause I am sure she'll read it. I love you mom!) I just wanted to tell her how I felt. For along time I would just keep things to myself and not speak up for myself. But I guess the therapy is helping with that. Oh like what happened with my grandparents. My mom was very proud of me and I was proud of myself for speaking my opinion. I went to relay this week. I stayed maybe 5 hours. My teacher bought one of my fork braceletts. Awe she is so cute. The forks went super fast. I think I just might make more for my friends since they liked them so much. I am so sore today. I mean I played volleyball last night but seriously I stood there and maybe hit the ball 2 times. Actually I did serve a few times. Oh me and my friend made a signal for when I feel like I'm going to have a seizure. LOL. It's funny. So we had electives last night at youth group. That's just like you go to a cetain group and learn different things. Like one was baking and one was hair and makeup and my group was volleyball. haha. We learned about getting a fondation in our walk with the Lord, just like we need a fondation is volleyball. It was funny. So anyway I was sitting on the bench crying. I had an aura and didn't what I was going to do. Like I didn't want to be rude and just leave. So I just sat there. My friend was like are you ok, I'm like I feel bad. We walked inside and then back outside and then I was gone. I don't know if she caught me or not. Oh well. Some of the conselous came over and the seizure lasted 2 minutes they said, and then I got up and went to play volleyball. It's so weid like after them I am totally fine. It's like I had a crazy nap. I don't know. But anyway the conselours I guess have to know what to do in case it happens. I don't like it to be a big deal. I don't like paramedics. However I do want to be a paramedic. No 911 unless I hit my head. Just let me lay there for a while and I'll be fine. Oh yah so Easter Sunday (I don't know if I said this in the previous blog) I had one and fell on this kid, haha how embaressing. Ya and then all the people were praying for me when I woke up. I hate when people do that. I know it says in the Bible that we should anoint with oil and have the elders pray over the sick. But honestly that just makes me uncomfortable. I had it done to me one time when I was a kid and hated it. Sorry just something I don't believe, I'm not mad or anything. My tics are still happening. When I talk to my doctor I will ask her about that. I got to the full dose on my meds on ;ast Tuesday, so it might be from that. Oh also, the meds make me have NO appetite, or I'll have huge cravings for things. Like when I wass at relay I craved a hotdog. Haha. And during the day I wouldn't eat anything, so I have to do a feed and thats fine cause it's not like I'm eating so it doesn't discust me.
Hope You all have a fantasting day. Not sure when I'll be able to write. untill next time...

Love Always,

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